How is it like studying in a male-dominated course

Year 2 Final Project Presentation with Ir. Dr. Yeong

Hello, I’m Nur, in my second year studying Civil Engineering at Uni. of Nottingham Malaysia. 

I’m now sitting at my desk in the Seminar Room for our Design Project class, while most of my classmates are flocking in the front,  a random thought crossed my mind, 

“Ouh, how did I even manage to blend in with these guys, and its been almost 2 years?”

Which I was extremely anxious about prior to coming to uni. (actually, I am still feeling anxious right until this moment, but I started to get how to work my way through it)

I intuitively and randomly feel like sharing my POV studying in a male-dominated class/course in general. It’s my 4th semester now with this bunch, of days and nights working. (they’re entertaining and kind).

If I can hop on a time machine and travel back in time to tell this story to myself from 5 years ago, who’s sitting on the bench of a quranic religious boarding school, who’s really quiet and shy, who’s never befriended any boys (except when I had to work with them in society). She would collapse immediately and pass out! (without a doubt).

~to be continued

Ok, I have continued!! Scroll down 

Real-time view haha

We conducted the orientation day for the faculty of civil engineering

First off,  I have to admit it wasn't 'seamless' haha but it was 'okay' not 'too hard'. There are challenges that I will share later on. My first semester at UNM started online, whereby I only had the chance to meet my classmates via MS Teams and WhatsApp. It was really simple, and I enjoy online classes as I think I'm more confident to respond and ask questions. For context, I have a module (subject) called 'Portfolio for Civil Engineering Studies'; it is a general term for a compilation of 12 workshops that we have to attend each year. Workshops include learning computer software related to civil eng, doing labs and experiments, and on-site surveying field courses. And for each workshop, we had 2 to 3 coursework/assignments to be submitted within a week or two. And most of the workshops are group work. 

Other than that, there's another module called the Group Design Project; this is where we have to practically apply all knowledge and skills learned from all 7 modules to a real-life project. For 1st year, we were required to design a 10-meter-long Truss Bridge and did the project details, calculations etc. (imagine the workload >.<) There are only 23 students (19 boys and 4 girls) in the class, imagine how many small groups I had with the same people haha. And the lecturers love to make sure we girls are separated into different groups :').

Small classes and online, that's a good start for me to get more comfortable with my classmates and learn the skills of how to effectively communicate with a 'wider range of people' (who are not Malays, they're mostly Chinese, Indian, and some international students) concerning our studies. 

Starting from 2nd semester until now the 4th semester, we are back to fully face-to-face classes, and from the acquaintance made during online group work, it was 70% easier for me to befriend them in real life, and work together on our coursework physically.  Alhamdulillah they are so respectful to me as a Muslim and they're also learning the boundaries by asking me about my religious practices. They are professional when working and protective as well, thus I feel safe being in this circle. By professional I meant, there are no heart feelings during group discussions and we can freely impose our ideas onto them haha, while constructively criticizing each other during brainstorming. In terms of romantic feelings, I am really grateful that none of that occurred among our classmates. So I am totally spared from the awkwardness of all it could bring.  I can attest to the saying 'Engineers are not romantic', I think the physical and emotional exhaustion had carried us away from non-necessary attachments hahaha. Which is great for productivity!

One of our outdoor surveying activity. It was during Ramadan so it was so challenging

Few important things I picked up:

• Men are rather quiet and did not talk a lot online though, but lots of them can be reaallyy loud and talkative in person... That's what I observed at least haha. (exception given to natural introverts :)) So don't feel offended if they simply replied 'Ok' after you sent them 5 paragraphs of text.
  
  
• Some of them prefer very specific instructions when delegating tasks such as, "first, create an Excel file, then import your data from this software, watch how to do that in this video and so on..". Then they're gonna be running the work as swift as the wind. Otherwise...
  
  
• Most of them have natural leadership instincts, as Allah mentioned in the Quran how he created men as leaders and protectors. Although they might seem like a funny, never serious person, they potentially have this other side full of charisma; when they feel responsible for something.
  
  
• Be respectful to everyone, they will return equal respect to you.
  
  
• Men are naturally better in mathematics and analytical skills, so trust them in those works haha and girls can take up the job to double check, generate ideas for problem-solving, and make it systematic.

Challenges as a girl in an engineering course:

• Physical strength. To endure the packed schedule days and sleepless nights. The worst is during on-site/field works sometimes we had to lift some heavy pieces of stuff, use dangerous tools, stay under the scorching sun for hours etc. I am grateful and lucky to have protective classmates who always helped us girls with the heavy stuff or even brought an umbrella to keep us from the sun haha
  
  
• Assertiveness is needed if you really want your idea to be heard. When men are discussing among themselves, they can be over-excited, passive-aggressive or non-inclusive, or all zipped up, depending on their character. Unlike girls that are more sensitive, usually, girls gonna be like
  
   "Okay anyone else would like to share their ideas? let's hear it out"
  
  But men (in my class at least) aren't anything like that haha. So, you gotta squish your idea in between, and be confident about it. Be persuasive and assertive. Don't worry if your idea is criticized, at least you are heard! Oftentimes, I found that men are a little bit inattentive to details, while girls are really good at being meticulous. So there's the balance; you are needed, girls!
  
  
• Be patient whenever you feel discriminated against, attacked, or untrusted by people in this industry. There are stigmas that underestimate girls' capabilities amongst people in this field of study, just be cool and fight your way to your dreams okay? I had multiple experiences regarding this, it was painful and I teared up questioning my abilities, but Alhamdulillah Allah gave me the strength to keep going. I learned to become more resilient and ignore negative vibes from my surroundings.
  
  
• For me, friendship with my classmates begins and ends in the class. They did not become the friends that I hang out with, or have lunch or dinners together, as I am personally not comfortable doing social activities with men in general. That is the shari'a boundary I am holding on to, to please Allah. :)
  

Studying alone in my comfy fomfy room

To be honest, I did feel quite lonely during my studies here compared to when I was in KYUEM or in SMAP Bentong, since they are fewer girls that I can befriend. But, now I really understand that this is not loneliness, it is peace and quietness; a blessing from him. Training me to become more independent, I can focus on myself, restart doing more charity work, have a chance to spend more time with my family, and have fewer social activities that will take away my precious time whilst my health and my energy level are not capable of that.

I am grateful for the few close friends I had, such as my housemate, Carolina, and a few girls from other courses that I know. Although my circle in UNM is pretty small compared to my MUSCOM girls and Camdee girls, I am overwhelmed with love and quality friendship, Alhamdulillah. I frequently travel back and forth from my family home in Sungai Buloh to UNM in Semenyih ( +- 75 km away) every week or two weeks. Oh, my siblings are my ultimate best friends and I'll quickly forget that I have ever felt sad or lonely whenever I returned home 🤍🥹

This ine is rather a small class. Project presentation in Year 1

My design project groupmates. The owls :) Our final presentation was a success Alhamdulillah after a whole year of detail-designing this building.

Building the model. Year 2 was really hard and tiring.. 

Society meeting at the uni cafe

Although studying in a male dominated course, it shouldn’t take away my natural feminine energy or muslimah outlook such as dressing modestly and in pink! :)

I actively engage in societal works to improve my soft skills. This one is for Institution of Civil Engineers society where I was the Public Relations Director, working to connect people and major stakeholders. It was an amazing experience!

Me dressing up for a conference and project presentations.  Elegant Muslimah is my dress code :)

Lab works. I can easily feel out of place if I did not learn how to effectively communicate with men in group works

So yes thats how my life has been so far at UNM in the Civil Engineering class. 

Below are some insights into how I rejuvenate my energy, spirit and strengthen my connection with Allah throughout my studies in a male dominated course, in a non Islamic environment.

I freauently pray at the mosque to meet fellow muslims in the uni and have thoughtful spiritual conversations

I join Islamic Society events such as sisters dinner to establish friendship and ukhuwah with fellow muslims, despote studying in a non islamic uni. This one i was invited to perform the Tilawah (Quran Recitation) during the opening ceremony. MasyaAllah tbh i have very little knowledge about tarannum etc, but they put their trust in me. So I recited with a simple melody/rhythm that I always did when reciting the Quran, without knowing the tarannum behind it huhu. I really wish I can learn tarannum formally soon

That is ayah’s car on the left next to mine (technically its also Ayah’s i just borrowed hehe) Ayah visits me every Monday and will sleepover at my house in Semenyih haha since we are both going to Darussyifa’ classes every Monday night since May 2021. Alhamdulillah I’ve grown closer and closer to ayah ever since that I got to spend lots of quality time with ayah 🥰